“Then bring me my whangee, my yellowest shoes and the old green Homburg. I’m going into the park to do pastoral dances.”
—Bertie Wooster in The Inimitable Jeeves
Of all my wares, the solid stick umbrella is one of the few things that make me really happy each time I use it. Every time it rains I feel like I’m straight out of Paris Street; Rainy Day, fine ass broad on my arm, strolling down the Champs-Élysées on the way to get hammered with Hemingway at the absinthe bar.
The solid stick just looks so rich with its variegated color. Don’t bother with similarly priced metal stick umbrellas. On an average day, you’re probably not the only person on the street with a nice suit and shoes, but when it rains I can guarantee you that you will be the only one with a solid stick umbrella.
You know how when it’s raining and everybody’s walking down the street with umbrellas and you gotta make sure to not let your umbrella collide with other people’s umbrellas? Well, when you are a wielding a solid stick, everybody will see how sick that stick looks and will step aside to make way for your superior umbrella.
Can you put a price on this kind of power?